Couples Therapy
“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can heal in relationship.” Dr. Harville Hendrix
When Therapy Can Help
Conflict
Maybe you’re finding yourself stuck in the same repeating fights. In therapy, we’ll start to peel back the layers; often fights seem like they are about surface level things, but deeper feelings and conflicts are present underneath. Accessing these layers brings more possibilities for communication and connection.
Disconnection
Maybe you and your partner aren’t stuck in fights, but you’re feeling generally disconnected or afraid of having hard conversations. Couples therapy can help increase safety in your connection and increase skills around communication and connection.
Life Transitions
Transitions like moving, marriage, pregnancy and having kids, merging families, new jobs can all bring new roles, complicated decision making, and stress on couples. Therapy can be a place to sort through these changes and the conflicts and confusions they can bring up.
Betrayals
Infidelity, dishonesty, or other secrets can erode trust in a relationship. Trust can slowly be rebuilt, and betrayals more deeply understood in ways that increase the ability to respond in new ways in the future.
When things are going well
Improving communication, talking through values, goals and differences, increasing intimacy, and making long-term plans together are all great ways to use therapy and can prevent larger relationship problems down the road.
What modalities are effective for couples therapy?
I draw from trainings in multiple modalities to meet the needs of you and your unique relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
EFT is an evidence-based modality that helps couples identify patterns or “negative cycles” that they are stuck in, and then find new solutions, skills, and tools to navigate conflict and improve communication.
Relational/Psychodynamic Therapy
Relational therapy explores how past experiences have formed relational assumptions, expectations, and patterns that are often unconscious and yet playing out in adult relationships.
Somatic (Body) Therapy
Our bodies are a source of wisdom and information into our feelings, longings, desires, and hurts. Attention to this part of our experience helps us understand ourselves more deeply and what’s happening in our relationships.
Bringing the Sociopolitical into the Room
Just as we are shaped and impacted by our early childhood experiences with our caregivers, the sociopolitical conditions that we live inside of including constructs of race, gender, and sexuality have a profound impact on our inner lives and our relationships. Issues of power, privilege, and oppression show up in relationships and therapy can be a place to unpack and understand how these dynamics are showing up.
What results can you expect?
Increased Connection and Feelings of Closeness
More fun, play, laughter, and intimacy
Increased Communication Skills
Tools for listening, having hard conversations, and navigating conflict and disagreements
More empathy for yourself
Our adult hurts and conflicts can provide a doorway for places within ourselves that need more attention and healing
More empathy for your partner
More deeply understanding your partner creates more closeness, intimacy, and connection, and allows for new possibilities in communication and conflict.
Ability to Repair
Relationship studies show that couples who are satisfied in their relationships are not ones that don’t fight; disconnection and hurt feelings happen in even the best relationships. What sets these couples apart is their ability to repair after hurt happens.
FAQs
We haven’t been together very long, does couples therapy still make sense?
1
Yes! Coming to therapy sooner can help interrupt processes that are not working before they become more engrained.
We are contemplating break-up or divorce, is couples therapy worth it?
2
People often seek out couples therapy at the point where there is some ambivalence about whether or not it will work out to stay together. So yes, that can be part of the therapy process.
What can couples therapy help with?
3
Couples therapy can give you new tools for how to navigate conflict, increase communication skills, and help you feel more understood and connected to your partner.
Sometimes couples seek support around making major life decisions, navigating transitions, sexual challenges, or as preventative support in early stages of their relationship.
How long does couples therapy take?
4
I wish I could answer this! There is a lot of variation in how long couples stay in therapy, but often couples experience more understanding and some initial relief after 4-8 sessions, while deeper work will take longer.
Take the next step.
Let’s connect!
Finding a therapist can be a daunting process. I’m happy to provide a free 20 minute phone call to answer any questions and talk about your hopes for therapy.